I was 24 and as innocent as can be, without exaggeration. And while I pledged to wait until I was married, I decided to give it to him. He was older. Sophisticated. Worldly. And looking back, the luckiest bastard in the world. He was my first sexual anything, outside of kisses, and I was in love. IN LOVE.

He was not.

For 3 years, he was never my boyfriend. For 3 years, he sidestepped everything that would have led to a “real relationship”, but instead kept me hanging on to that silky thread that would keep me attached to him. Why not? A beautiful, young and adoring girl at his beck and call, that he could have sex with … and lie to … and string along … and then throw away. And he did. (Thank God) So, in the middle of these 3 years, while we had done “everything else” that would keep me a virgin (as he patiently explained when I said I wasn’t sure I wanted to do those things outside of marriage), “we” decided it was time … it was right … and “we” were ready. *swoon* And so, having done everything thing else he could do to me and still “preserve my virginity” we consummated our (my) love. (Hallmark should make cards for this.) And when he was finished gifting me himself, blessing me with this literal once – in – a – lifetime (my first time) memorable event, that every girl dreams of, he gently touched my lips with his fingertips, and kissed my forehead. Looking in my eyes, he said something I’m never going to forget.

“Hey. You know I’m not going to marry you, right? I mean … don’t get the wrong idea. K?”

Red Pill, dose no. 1, age 24.

Wait, Shannon. At least he was honest, right? Yes, I suppose. Afteral all, he didn’t marry me, nor did he ever even call me his girlfriend. He never committed to me and instead had a plethora of women – while he “waited to see if he was ready to settle down”. But I really believed that eventually he’d realize he did love me! No, he eventually realized he loved a red headed nurse named Renee. And he left. Without even saying goodbye. Hey, thanks for coming.

But hold on, Shannon. Wasn’t he simply behaving with predisposed evolutionary behavior?

Fast forward 19 years. I am with John. He has committed to me, and has saved me in a million ways, but mostly he has saved me from myself, time and again. But, he embraces the Red Pill Theory. As does Glen. Glen is married. Glen has a beautiful and deeply devoted wife and as far as I can tell and observe, Glen does not have that predisposition to roam, even though he is an Alpha Male with a capital a. … so does the Red Pill apply to some, and not others? Because John and Glen are “good”, does that mean that they have the willpower to not behave badly, and go “against evolution”? Or is this all just a wonderful ruse for men to employ bad behavior and blame it on predisposed evolutionary behavior?

The Red Pill. … to be continued .